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One of the funniest member testimonials we’ve ever received

by | May 7, 2025

Member feedback is so important to our owners and the HQ team. It tells us what we’re doing right and from time-to-time, what we can improve.
When Stuart Cain, Owner of Hitsona Telford, received this absolute gem of a testimonial this week, we had to share it.

What was going on for you before you joined Hitsona?

Mate, I was in a proper rut. Energy in the bin, belly slowly taking over my waistband and my sex drive was about as reliable as a 90s Vauxhall in winter. I wasn’t exercising, I felt like crap, and the only thing I was lifting regularly was a pint or the remote. I told myself i’d ‘sort it soon’ but ‘soon’ kept turning into next month…then next year.

How did that feel day-to-day?

Honestly? Grim! I felt sluggish, soft and permanently knackered, even without doing anything. Couldn’t sleep properly, couldn’t be arsed half the time, and don’t get me started on trying to feel good about myself. Confidence? Gone. Stamina? Laughable. Mojo? Missing in action.
I wasn’t living, I was just drifting through the days in a body that felt like it had been left on factory settings since 2012.

What’s changed since you joined?

Everything. I’m sharper, stronger and actually feel like a man again, not just some bloke who groans getting off the sofa. Hitsona isn’t a gym full of posers and pain, it’s quick, smart training that fits real life. Stuart doesn’t just tell you to do burpees and bugger off – he looks at the whole picture; stress, sleep, food, mindset, even the stuff you pretend isn’t bothering you.
Now i’ve got more energy, better sleep, and i’m feeling good naked again, which let’s be honest is a win for everyone involved.

What would you say to someone thinking about joining but unsure?

I’d say this: stop pissing about and give it a go. You don’t need to be fit already. You don’t need to stop drinking beer or start eating kale. You just need to show up and let Stuart do his thing.
You’ll sweat, you’ll probably swear, but you’ll feel great again. Not like a couch cushion with a pulse. And the best part? The old mojo makes a comeback. Strong body, clear head, decent sleep, and suddenly you’re not making excuses in the bedroom any more. You’re making moves.

Get this man his own show!

Hitsona
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